Emotions – Relationships – Connections- Success

Emotions – Relationships – Connections- Success

What do all of these items have in common?    If we understand our and the other party’s emotions, chances are we can enhance our relationship and build a connection which just might result in success by whatever means you define success.

As a mediator and negotiator I truly embrace the idea of developing and nurturing relationships by understanding and focusing on the emotions to constructively work to address the area of concern.  Many parties jump to a solution after simplifying the definition of the problem.  How many times have we heard about the quick fix without truly having defined the problem?  I would argue defining the problem is a very hard first step.  Depending on how this is framed, the rest of the work may be fruitful or fruitless.

We are all in the business of selling.  We sell our services and our products to others.  The same is true in a mediation or a negotiations.  Using neuroscience I have become a much better listener and ensured an environment that promotes understanding to assist the participants to better define the problem and to listen to the concerns of the other party as well as explore their interests.  With this in mind I want to share an article with you.

I read this article from the November issue of the Harvard Business Review entitled “The New Science of Customer Emotions”.    As you might expect this article expounds upon the need to understand the customer, use analytical techniques regarding a target market and describes how to significantly expand on sales and profitability.  The authors indicate this still requires more guess work than science.

The researchers state:

“Our research across hundreds of brands in dozens of categories shows that it’s possible to rigorously measure and strategically target the feelings that drive customers’ behavior. We call them “emotional motivators.” They provide a better gauge of customers’ future value to a firm than any other metric, including brand awareness and customer satisfaction, and can be an important new source of growth and profitability”

The article goes on to present information on “the new science of customer emotions”. 

Principle elements of the article focus on:

“Why emotional connections matter;

Emotional motivators vary by category and brand;

Emotional motivators vary across customer segments;

Emotional motivators for a given brand or industry vary with a person’s position in the customer journey;

Emotional-connection-driven growth opportunities exist across the customer experience, not just in traditional brand positioning and advertising;

Putting Emotional Connections to Work

Target connected customers;

Quantify key motivators;

Optimize investments across functions;

Looking at


     Online and omnichannel experiences


     Message targeting

Systematize, measure and learn;

The Management Imperative.”

Stepping back from this article, the key here is understanding emotions.  The analytical techniques presented offer a way to try and quantify this from a retail perspective.  Having managed a team of researchers that included a PhD Economist and a PhD Statistician as part of the team, I give a lot of credit to the analytical approach being presented in this article.  As a mediator and negotiator I look at this a bit differently today.  I give tremendous weight to the emotions of the participants and the need to understand both mine and theirs as we work to develop a relationship and a connectedness that might very well lead to success.

About the author

Mike Gregory is a professional speaker, an author, and a mediator. You may contact Mike directly at mg@mikegreg.com and at (651) 633-5311. Mike has written 12 books (and co-authored two others) including his latest book, The Collaboration Effect: Overcoming Your Conflicts, and The Servant Manager, Business Valuations and the IRS, and Peaceful Resolutions that you may find helpful. [Michael Gregory, ASA, CVA, MBA, Qualified Mediator with the Minnesota Supreme Court]