"Getting to Yes" is a best selling book by William L. Ury, Roger Fisher and Bruce M. Patton. The book is based upon the principles of listening to the other party and exploring interests. I could not agree more. In my new book coming out "Peaceful Resolutions" and an associated workbook that address conflict resolution, I have a chapter on Negotiation. I parallel many of the ideas presented in "Getting toYes". Today I read an article from the Program on Negotiation from the Harvard Law School Daily Blog entitled "Six Guidelines for Getting to Yes, these principles of integrative negotiation will help you effectively compete and collaborate" by Katie Shonk. It is quick read and yet powerfully presents key points related to negotiation that can help you. She offers:
1. Separate the people from the problem
2. Focus on interests not positions
3. Learn to manage emotions
4. Express appreciation
5. Put a positive spin on your message
6. Escape the cycle of action and reaction
I could not agree more. Working with a group of neuroscientist I have learned that our brain is 98% emotional and 2% rational according to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio . This has caused me to spend more time working with clients in either negotiations or as a neutral client based mediator to explore their own emotions related to the issue and to explore what they see as the emotions of the other party related to the issue. This goes a long way towards understanding their own interests and those of the other party. These steps offer a good foundation to negotiating effectively without giving in.