Stress reduction for many of us who are feeling stress

Why many people are feeling dread right now

With President Trump initiating a host of Executive Orders, many followers are feeling empowered, while many who disagree with some or all of his Executive Orders are feeling disenfranchised, marginalized, and distraught. According to Fox, Trump won the popular vote of 77.3 million (50.7%) to 75 million (49.3%) for Harris. This is not precisely what you might call a mandate, and realizing that the country is very divided on Trump’s policies, our society has a lot of anxiety.

Knowing two individuals who have recently resigned from not-for-profit boards and others of color or supporting those of color who felt that Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI ) initiatives at least brought forth more of a level playing field has been very stressful. To assist those feeling this way and those that need to work with others feeling this way, I want to offer some thoughts about how our brain works, what you can do to address situations when you feel left out, what you can do to reduce your stress, and what others can do who want to be sensitive to those feeling this way.

How to manage feelings of dread

 When we anticipate adverse future outcomes, our brain anticipates emotional discomfort and anxiety, and we feel stress. When we feel pain, it is actual pain. We experience suffering when we anticipate how bad things might be. With mindfulness, it is possible to reduce the feelings of anxiety associated with anticipated negative future events. 

1. One step we can take is to be conscious of the present moment—what is happening here and now rather than anticipating a negative event in the future. Differentiate between what are actual facts and what are anticipated bad outcomes which create these feelings of dread.
2. A second step is to be conscious of focusing on the problem and take time to define the problem correctly. This is very important. Often, instead of focusing on the real issue, the focus tends to be on the feelings associated with the problem. Be calm, competent, and confident rather than reacting negatively to the problem. Self-talk about your inner strengths may reduce anxiety as you focus on what is actually needed in the moment. 
3. A third step is to distinguish between what you can control and what is out of your control. You can only address what you can control. Don’t fight something you cannot change. That doesn’t mean we have to like it; rather, by letting go of what you cannot control frees your energy to address what you can control and lets your mind realize that you have to move on with what you can control.
4. A fourth step is to pull back and explore what is the anxiety you feel in your body and the narrative you have conjured up with your brain. Be aware that your mind is out to protect your body and will bring up potential negative feelings to help protect you from real danger. Unfortunately, your mind can also hypothesize and imagine all kinds of catastrophes and what could happen even when there is no real danger. Seeing ghosts and goblins around the corner is the anticipatory, protective nature of our brains working overtime. And so, to counteract that we need to step back and focus on what is a real threat and what is not a real threat. When you can differentiate this, you can reduce your anxiety. 
5. A fifth step is to take physical actions to reduce the fight or flee response in our nervous system. What kinds of physical actions might this include?

• Focus on your breathing
• Slow down your talk and reduce your social media inputs
• Take a walk, go for a run, go for a swim or a bicycle ride
• Stretch out on a yoga mat and do a reality check
• Recalibrate your to-do list based on what is directly on your plate and/or in front of you

These steps may help you cope in the most challenging moments. To read more on this topic, check out this article by the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley.

Another recent study suggests engaging stress rather than disengagement works. 

How to reduce your stress and the stress of others

Dr. Terry Wu is a neuroscientist in Minnesota who specializes in this topic. After meeting him, listening to his lectures, and following his insights, I want to share some soundbites with you.

The stress response is related to control, predictability, and progress. Think about this in light of what you just read about dread. If you feel in control, you have less stress. For example, the micromanager feels less stress micromanaging, but the micromanager does feel significant stress. Knowing what you do control and focusing on that can help reduce your stress. Being able to predict what will happen accurately helps reduce stress. For example, beginning your daily routine with similar activities helps reduce stress. Not knowing what will happen increases stress. Focusing on your actions and what you can predict with daily rituals will help reduce stress. In what ways are you making progress? Think of your short-term and long-term goals. Take big projects and break them up into milestones, celebrating success along the way. Addressing what you can control, having daily rituals, and seeing how you are progressing will help reduce your stress.

Finding joy in accomplishment in yourself and others

Think about where you came from and where you are today. Consider previous generations or your own life. My wife and I reflect on when we were in married student housing with a card table and two chairs, with a twin mattress on a concrete floor during one of the coldest Januarys on record in Madison, Wisconsin, and where we are today with faith, family, and friends. Find joy in your life and the lives of others. Start with yourself. Find practices that allow you to be grounded and relaxed. Practice joy by helping others, smiling and making eye contact, and giving a compliment. Share positive, joyful information with others on social media. Use laughter to brighten your day. When you laugh, it provides hormones in your brain and lifts your mood. Share what you know with others. This might be a skill or other knowledge. Consider a random act of kindness or giving a tip to others. Give back to your community in some way. Try volunteering in an area of interest. You can always try another option if the first one is not your thing. Express gratitude every day. Think of what you are grateful for when you start your day with your daily routine.

Hopefully, one or more of these ideas will help you or someone else reduce stress and have a better day.

Check out these links to my publications if you would like to learn more about collaboration,conflict resolution, or enhancing your servant manager skills.