Have you ever considered what common sense is? Can it be determined? Can it be measured? Can it help with conflict resolution? As a mediation and conflict resolution specialist, I especially like this article from the University of Pennsylvania on the commonalities of common sense. The more we understand the depth and breadth of each other’s claims, the more likely we are to work toward a consensus and overcome conflict.
What is common sense?
Everyone believes they have common sense, but has anyone tried to define it? The answer is that Mark Whiting and Duncan Watts have written an article that introduces a “formal methodology to empirically quantify common sense both at an individual and collective level.” They started this process by assessing what people agreed on regarding various claims and how much they knew that others agreed with them. Rather than simply tallying the numbers, they went deeper and explored the depth and breadth of their understanding. Some may be an inch deep and a mile wide, while others may have tremendous depth but in very narrow width and everywhere in between.
Then, they explored shared beliefs across different groups. What did they find? They found that the larger the groups, the fewer common beliefs. They then looked at the fraction of the population that agreed to a given claim. As researchers, they identified 4,407 claims and had 2,046 people “rate these claims in terms of how commonsensical they found them. The number of claims sounds fantastic, and they were. They took Wikipedia’s ontology, for example, of general references to geography and places, mathematics and logic, arts and culture, philosophy and thinking, and others. Participants ranged from fact to opinion, literal vs. figures of speech. There was a wide range of what people called “common sense.”
However, a key finding was the ability to understand someone else’s perspective
correlated well with commonsensicality.
Everyone is unique and has their perspective of common sense beliefs. This is one study. How might this change across different cultures? Perhaps AI could help answer these kinds of questions on a global scale. Note that whatever we call common sense, others may not. Think about this regarding conflict, conflict resolution, and conflict management. We are now trying to teach common sense to computers, but should we first understand that we don’t have a clear picture of what this means? This is where they are in their research. What can we learn from this related to conflict resolution?
Common sense is applied to conflict resolution
In conflict, parties generally have a firm belief in their position. They may be willing to move away from it or feel very strongly that it is the only correct position. Regardless of their position, the question remains from the findings above: Are they willing to make the effort and take the time to explore the other party's position? It is critical to see if the parties can apply common sense to their conflict. An example for consideration let’s look at history.
Camp David Accords 1978 Begin, Sadat, and Carter
The great mediator, President Jimmy Carter, understood this. He brought Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin to Camp David to speak with each other. This was after 14 months of diplomacy. This did not happen overnight. Extremists on both sides wanted peace between Egypt and Israel to fail. This meeting was called the Camp David Accords. When it appeared they had reached an impasse, what could be done to bring these two great leaders to address their conflict? Grandchildren. The question was what this would mean to their grandchildren. Forty years later, this was noted as what brought both sides together. It was not a focus on land or power or righting wrongs and past grievances; it was about each of the leaders focusing on what they wanted for their grandchildren and whether they would be willing to compromise for the sake of their grandchildren.
Focus on the future – what could be
Just as Sadat and Begin thought about the future they wanted for their grandchildren, my friends in family mediation tell me a similar story. When a couple is going through a divorce but works with mediators, if they have parties focusing on what is best for the children, that changes the whole dynamic for the better. It softens positions. Supposing the future offers a change in mindset. It does not relieve the hurt, distrust, or anguish. It does allow a focus on a better way in the future. What can we learn from these two examples as we apply common sense to conflict resolution in general?
General application
When faced with conflict, if we can work to develop a relationship with the other party and take the time to listen and understand, this can genuinely make a huge difference. This can be hard when emotions run high. Is it possible to think of this as an opportunity? Is it possible to remain calm and focus on the other party and what they are saying? To do this, it is necessary to listen with the intent of asking more questions to understand.
When they are speaking, what else could you be asking?
If you are not used to this, it is recommended that you try this with someone you are not in conflict with to enhance your skills in this area. Identify and control your emotions. Remove distractions. Turn off your phone. Find a place where you truly can listen. Listen by paraphrasing what the other party said. Identify their emotions and empathize with them. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to say what they said in your own words. Summarize key points they are making.
Take notes to recall what you want to bring to their attention to help understand.
What was identified as common sense above with “understanding someone else’s perspective” goes a long way towards resolving a conflict, too. Work at this. Practice this with others. Then, when you feel ready, try this with someone you are in conflict with. Stay focused on the prize and the methodology. If it does not work, practice more and try again. This can have a very positive impact in the long run as you enhance your skills. Let me know how it went.
Check out these links to my publications if you would like to learn more about collaboration, conflict resolution, or enhancing your servant manager skills.