A story and a resolution
As a conflict resolution specialist, negotiator, and mediator, I was brought aboard to assist with a complex negotiation by one of the parties. There were disagreements within the hiring party about what they wanted to accomplish and who should be involved. As it turned out, the same confusion was true with the other party. By working closely with my client and by reaching out to the other party in neutral terms, it was possible to make significant progress as each party began anew and included additional key participants to assist them in their negotiation.
Another story and a resolution
Having recently assisted in a complex negotiation involving two major groups and a host of stakeholders from both sides, I heard from both parties that “we should have brought on board additional stakeholders sooner.” What can we learn from this experience? Who are the various stakeholders? How can we reach the parties to make sure they are heard? Trying to cut corners and move faster without consulting stakeholders proved to be a significant and time-consuming mistake. They not only lost time, but they also had to back up and review things multiple times, and as a result, the whole process took longer, cost more, and created hard feelings from the outset. In the end, burnt bridges were rebuilt, understanding was enhanced, and the result of our efforts was a much better, more durable agreement associated with longer-term relationships.
What follows are lessons learned from these two experiences.
Who should be on the negotiating team?
My client, in one story, thought several mid-level key individuals could be trusted to address the negotiation adequately. It became clear that this more limited team could conduct initial talks, but the final decision-maker was absent. This decision-maker was occupied elsewhere, working on something else, but that person wanted final approval on any agreement. These mid-level managers understood the concepts involved but did not control the final decision. Some front-line managers with more experience understood the intricacies involved at their level, as people who understood details associated with supply networks, interactions between key stovepipes of manufacturing, research and development, and sales had tremendous knowledge to assist in the negotiation. These lower-level individuals were not initially brought in, but by asking many questions, it became clear that the negotiators needed to involve the others to address various issues that arose during the negotiation. They wanted to avoid bringing on others who would be in the way, as they would not help the negotiation.
Be proactive and build relationships
We needed to ask: Does everyone on your team know each other? Have you taken the time to build relationships with your team? If not, you should do so. What do you know about each of the individuals on the other side? Research them with your connections, online, and other sources. Explore ways to bring up topics that enhance trusting relationships. Could this involve discussing children or grandchildren, education, travel, hobbies, pets, hometown, books, sports, food, music, current events, mutual connections, volunteering, social media, holidays, talents, career choices, or advice? Knowing as much as you can about others in a negotiation gives you roads and byways to address a topic that may allow you to connect with them. We need to be honest, avoiding embellishment, and maintaining authentic, open communication.
Seek first to understand
St. Francis of Assisi shared that “we should not so much seek to be understood as to understand.” All too often, we want to tell the other side what we want them to hear. However, in a negotiation, we are often ahead of the game if we let the other side go first, asking open-ended questions, rephrasing in neutral terms what we believe we heard (they will correct us if we are incorrect), and showing genuine empathy for their concerns. We can and must keep an open mind.
In another recent mediation where I served as the mediator, I witnessed a skilled negotiator elevate empathy to a new level, resulting in an immediate 50% concession. The lesson here is that we should never underestimate the emotional impact of empathy.
Have a plan
Another lesson is that we should never enter a negotiation without a clear strategy. Instead, we should meet with our entire team beforehand. We should discuss and decide who will cover what topics. How will we address those who are out to block our goals and interests? We can focus on the “why” and not the “how” until we have aired out all the “whys”. This tactic is crucial upfront. Once we have addressed the “why”, we can address the “how’s”.
Come with an open mind
We should be conscious that we may arrive with a plan, but we can be open to ideas from others. One side may be more innovative, experienced, creative, and have a different perspective that will add value to the negotiation. We may have come to the talks with a particular position and interests. But by keeping an open mind, we may discover a better solution by paying attention, listening actively, and hearing additional insights from others at the table. For this reason, we can conduct some preliminary work related to our approach, but be prepared to adjust it as needed. We can enter the negotiations with an open mindset that is receptive to flexibility.
Assumptions and bias
We are all shaped by our experiences, and that means that we have biases. Our brain tends to be lazy, and it always wants to reinforce stereotypes based on past experiences. Knowing this tendency helps us guard against biases when making assumptions about our own position, interests, goals, and what we perceive as the other side’s position, interests, and goals. We can test these out in real time. We can verify whether our assumption is correct. We can test and test again. We can explore whether there are ways to move beyond previous assumptions and discover new pathways with our team, as well as learn from the other team.
Keep in mind, this is an opportunity.
As the negotiation proceeds, we can give ourself and our team positive self-talk. We can keep a positive mindset no matter the difficulty. We can be aware of what we say and what others are saying. We can stay focused on the prize of a successful negotiation. What do we want to achieve through this negotiation?
Bottom line
Failing to engage stakeholders, or even worse, ignoring stakeholders, can cause significant problems later. We can ensure that we have brought on board the right stakeholders from the outset. Trying to recover later can be costly and counterproductive. Being proactive and getting our act together from the start will enable better negotiations, more effective results, and savings in time, effort, and resources.
For additional insights, check out this blog on a 32-point checklist offered by the Harvard Program on Negotiation.
If you would like to learn more about my publications on collaboration, conflict resolution, or enhancing your servant leadership skills, which focus on leading by serving and understanding the needs of your team members, please feel free to reach out to me.
You can find my books on conflict resolution and servant leadership for sale at the following link: https://www.birchgrovepublishing.com/
For more information on collaboration, check out The Collaboration Effect.