No two conflicts are the same, and no two resolutions are the same. My book, Peaceful Resolutions, identifies many patterns of conflict as well as best practices for addressing them and bringing parties to successful resolution through conversation, discussion, negotiation, mediation, and compromise.

SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFER: If you would like to order the following guide to conflict resolution at half price ($20 savings), send me an email at mg@mikegreg.com with the subject line PEACEFUL RESOLUTIONS OFFER and I will make the book available to you at the special price of $19.95 plus $10 shipping. 

QUALIFICATIONS: In writing this book, I offer the following qualifications: 

  • 30+ years of management experience at all levels
  • more than 2,500 mediations, negotiations, and facilitations completed
  • training in mediation at the Hamline Law School
  • certification as a Qualified Mediator with the Minnesota Supreme Court
  • more than 55 articles and 12 books, many discussing conflicts and their resolution

OUTLINE OF MY BOOK PEACEFUL RESOLUTIONS

CHAPTER 1: 60 Steps to Peaceful Conflict Resolution 

Step 1: Understand the Elements of Conflict Resolution            

Step 2: Understand General Principles of Conflict Resolution 

Volunteers, Not Draftees            

Resolution, Not Vindication      

Emotions are the Key    

This Process Is Tough on Issues, but Gentle on People 

Go Beyond this Guide  

A Basic Library for Conflict Resolution 

CHAPTER 2: THE ART OF DE-ESCALATION        

Step 3: Set the Internal Conditions for Peacemaking by Using the Insights of Neuroscience to De-escalate: Amygdala Hijack       

TIPS FOR MANAGING A TENSE SITUATION        

Step 4: Master the Art of De-escalation              

De-escalation Strategies with One Antagonist 

Step 5: Control Yourself              

Step 6: Monitor Your Physical Stance   

Step 7: Manage the De-escalation Discussion 

De-escalation of Conflict Involving Two or More Persons           

Step 8: Inhibit the Fear Response System          

Step 9: Help Parties Move Toward a Peaceful Resolution           

Step 10: Use These Ten Tips to De-escalate Many Situations   

CHAPTER 3: THE ART OF COMMUNICATION   

Step 11: Focus on the Other Person(s) 

Step 12: Attend Carefully to Body Language and Tone of Voice               

CHAPTER 4: THE ART OF CONVERSATION        

Step 13: Acknowledge Positively            

Step 14: Give Your Undivided Attention to the Other Party         

Step 15: Develop a Common Ground   

Step 16: Attend to Their Life Interests  

Step 17: Listen Carefully             

Step 18: Ask Open-Ended Questions   

Step 19: Apply these Do’s and Don’ts   

CHAPTER 5: THE ART OF DISCUSSION                

Step 20: Show Respect for the Other Party        

Step 21: Avoid the Stinky Twins of BO and BS, Blaming Others and Blaming Self           

Step 22: Use This 5-Step Discussion Process  

CHAPTER 6: THE ART OF LISTENING    

Step 23: Listen Actively by Taking Notes             

Step 24: Paraphrase What You Hear     

Step 25: Check Perceptions     

Step 26: Listen with Openness 

Step 27: Listen with Awareness              

Step 28: Ask the Right Questions at the Right Time       

Step 29: Apply the RIGS model 

Step 30: Raise the Issue              

Step 31: Identify (Discover) Interests   

Step 32: Generate Options        

Step 33: Seek Solutions              

CHAPTER 7: THE ART OF NEGOTIATION             

Step 34: Foster Relationships  

Step 35: Decide on the Issue Based on the Merits         

Step 36: Focus on the PIOC Model        

Step 37: Consider the SCARF Model     

Step 38: Focus on Interests      

Step 39: Try Brainstorming        

Step 40: Use Objective Criteria               

Step 41: Consider BATNA           

Step 42: Consider WATNA         

Step 43: Consider an End Run  

Step 44: Address Those Who Don’t Play Fair     

CHAPTER 8: THE ART OF MEDIATION   

Step 45: Apply the FIFI Model   

Step 46: Select the Right Mediator for Your Situation    

Step 47: Use These Tips When Working with a Mediator             

CHAPTER 9: THE ART OF COMPROMISE            

Step 48: Work Hard on the Problem, Be Soft on People               

Step 49: Separate Emotions from Issues            

Step 50: Follow the Key Elements          

Step 51: Define the Problem     

Step 52: Listen Carefully and Clarify Item by Item          

Step 53: Determine Impacts, Evaluate Potential Solutions       

Step 54: Select a Solution          

Step 55: Test the Solution          

Step 56: Prepare a BATNA and WATNA in Advance        

Step 57: Bring It All Together (Ten Golden Steps)             

CHAPTER 10: THE ART OF VIRTUAL MEDIATION             

Step 58: Consider a Virtual Mediation 

Step 59: Consider Using Zoom Software for Virtual Mediations              

Step 60: Carry a Pocket Guide with You               

ENDNOTES       

APPENDIX A: HOW I AM TEACHING PEACE THROUGH WEBINARS AND BOOKS           

APPENDIX B: EXTRA TIPS FROM MY EXPERIENCES AT THE IRS                

Always Welcome - and Be Open to - Strangers 

Get to Know Teammates Well as Persons Reduces Friction      

Bridge Political and Cultural Antagonists through Work              

Foster Good Relationships Within Hostile Environment             

Treat Antagonists with Respect and Listen with Open Mind      

Do Not Recriminate Once Bad Behavior is Exposed      

Win-Lose is Rewarded, but Win-Win is More Satisfying              

Reducing Hostility and Stress Improves Work Performance     

Meeting Hostile Parties, and Listening Carefully, Is Key               

Building Trust Allows Performance of Groups to Soar  

Apply Mediation Training to Real-World Issues 

Mediation Techniques Can Be Applied Division-Wide  

Educating Others About Mediation Got People Involved             

Mediation Work Became a Central Element of My Work              

Mediation Can Save People from Disastrous Outcomes            

Mediation Can Work Across Cultures and Classes        

Writing and Presenting Has Crystallized My Practice   

My Work Evolved Based on Demand Pull, Not Supply Push       

Management At All Levels Involves Peaceful Resolutions          

Mediation Involves Continuous Learning and Study      

Client Interests Involve Exploring Interests of Others   

Arbitration Also Involves Careful Study of Party Interests           

Issue Resolution is Both an Art and a Process 

Reaching Out to Others is What I Do, Desiring to Help 

Speaking Engagements               

Ordering This Book and Others                

SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFER: If you would like to order the above book at half price, send me an email at mg@mikegreg.com with the subject line PEACEFUL RESOLUTIONS OFFER and I will make it available to you at the special price of $19.95 plus $10 shipping. 

If you would like a free pocket guide to conflict resolution steps, request a PDF by contacting me at mg@mikegreg.com or by calling 651-633-5311. I give more than 10,000 pocket guides annually.

Check out these links to my publications if you would like to learn more about collaboration,conflict resolution, or enhancing your servant manager skills.

About the author

Mike Gregory is a professional speaker, an author, and a mediator. You may contact Mike directly at mg@mikegreg.com and at (651) 633-5311. Mike has written 12 books (and co-authored two others) including his latest book, The Collaboration Effect: Overcoming Your Conflicts, and The Servant Manager, Business Valuations and the IRS, and Peaceful Resolutions that you may find helpful. [Michael Gregory, ASA, CVA, MBA, Qualified Mediator with the Minnesota Supreme Court]