It has been shown that how we feel at the end of one negotiation can have a direct impact on the next negotiation whether the negotiation ended positively or negatively.
We tend to be overly positive in our own abilities and we tend to let out emotions carry over into the next situation. The question is how can we address this in the next negotiation?
The carryover effect is documented in actual studies. How we feel about a previous negotiation has a direct impact on the next negotiation and as you know your emotional triggers can impact the next negotiation as well. For example if you had an accident on the way to work today, your emotions will likely be on edge when you arrive at work and these can have a direct impact on any negotiations that day. From neuroscience we know that if we lose our cool and we flood with anger, those chemicals and hormones stay in our blood stream for up to 22 hours or until we have had a sleep cycle.[1] Think about that if you or someone in the negotiation loses their temper.
We also know that when working with attorneys our attorneys are out to win in litigation and they tend to have a pretty good self-perception of themselves and the case. A study of more than 4,500 cases found that 82% of the time a settlement offer was offered to one side or the other that was better than the actual decision by the court. Think about this for a moment. This means the attorney on one side or the other was given an offer to settle the case that was better than the decision by the court, but the attorney (negotiator) for the client was unable to convince the client to settle, or the attorney pushed the client to go to trial rather than settle the case. In hindsight it would have been better for the client to settle the case.[2] This might have something to do with the hourly rate paid to the attorney(s) and/or this might have to do with the carryover effect in negotiations based on other negotiations?
So What Do You Do?
Given there is a carryover effect what can you or you and your team do? Be aware of pride and your emotions. Manage your emotions. From the book Peaceful Resolutions first focus on de-escalation and then focus on taking the appropriate steps for a negotiation. De-escalate yourself and others. Know the key elements of a negotiation and carry them out relative to your negotiation.
Take breaks between negotiations
Don’t schedule negotiations back to back. Give one time to either celebrate or heal. You don’t want your emotions from one negotiation impacting the next negotiation.
Determine what may be an emotional source
If you did well on the last negotiation, realize that, and know not to be over confident going into the next one. If you did not do well on the last negotiation, realize that, and know not be too hard on yourself and avoid the two stinky twins of BO and BS. That is Blaming Self or Blaming Others.
Finally, realize that it is quite possible to have false pride
We need to remain humble and have a humble mindset.
General Patton had a great quote[3] that went like this.
“For over a thousand years Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of triumph, a tumultuous parade. In the procession came trumpeteers, musicians and strange animals from conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments. The conquerors rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children robed in white stood with him in the chariot or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror holding a golden crown and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting.”
Contact Mike Gregory to speak to your group of consult with you, and check out his books and blog for free content. Michael Gregory, NSA, ASA, CVA, MBA and a Qualified Mediator with the Minnesota Supreme Court, is an international speaker that helps others resolve conflict, negotiate winning solutions and inspire leaders. Mike services clients business to IRS, business to business and within businesses. On point resources are available online at Mike’s web site and check out the blog. Mike may be contacted directly at mg@mikegreg.com or at (651) 633-5311.
Photo by Danutaniemiec at Pixabay
[1] Neurologist Dr. Erika Garms presentation on Building Brain Friendly Workplaces to EBITDA Partners, Roseville, MN August 3, 2017
[2] Randall L. Kiser, et. al, Let’s Not Make A Deal: An Empirical Study Of Decision -MakingIn Unsuccessful Settlement Negotiations , 5 J. Empirical Legal Studies 551-91 (Sept.2008), available at http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/121400491/HTMLSTART
[3] https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/632929-for-over-a-thousand-years-roman-...