What are the influences that persuade us to change our minds? Tali Sharot is the author of a new book entitled The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others . She offers some great ideas. She suggests seven key thoughts on this topic that I found very insightful. I thought you may find these interesting too. Here are the first three with the other four coming with next week’s blog:
1. We are shaped by previous experience
When we receive new information and it confirms what we already thought, we cognitively accept the data. If the new information does not, we tend to attack the new information. How do we overcome this?
Start by finding common ground.
Instead of I disagree with what you just stated, perhaps begin with I can agree with … and focus on any elements in common focusing on values rather than beliefs. We may disagree, but we both agree that…
2. Emotion is very important
When two individuals are ‘in sync” with one another we are operating on all cylinders. We can have a very positive, interactive and even humorous interaction with one another. Think of pleasant conversations. We share feelings with a story or humor.
Don’t try to connect with the person until you have connected emotionally first.
What are examples of things that bring us pleasure? Puppies? Baby pictures? Consider what you can offer to make the emotion positive. Emotions really matter in negotiations.
3. Positive incentives are very valuable
We are oriented towards obtaining rewards and minimizing pain.
Anticipation of reward is usually stronger than fear.
This is one reason that video games are so popular. Well before the vacation think how pleasant it is to imagine being on the vacation. The anticipation of the vacation generates significant joy well before ever taking the vacation.
However, if you want someone to not do something, warnings about negatives are very persuasive.
Bad consequences can be very helpful. Incentives will get you what you want. Negative reinforcement will help prevent further actions.
Contact me to speak to your group or consult with you.
Check out my website, books and resources. I am an international speaker. I speak on how to overcome conflict with collaboration by taking advantage of the collaboration effect TM enhancing relationships, resources and revenues. My service areas are related to helping clients resolve conflict: business to IRS, business to business and within businesses. I have written 11 books including The Servant Manager and Peaceful Resolutions. I may be contacted directly at firstname.lastname@example.org and at (651) 633-5311. [Michael Gregory, NSA, ASA, CVA; MBA]